I do feel bad when I lose control with my kids. I really only have two days with them where I don't have to work. And really, it's only one and a half because I usually have to do some work to make-up for what I couldn't get done during the week.

After going to the gym, I took the girls to a birthday party and had to stay since my youngest isn't used to my leaving a party yet.

All the mother's there are great and a few I consider real friends but it was interesting to be the 'older' parent at the party.

I remember when I was just a mommy to one. I wouldn't have dreamed of leaving a party. First, what if she fell? Second, it was a good time to chat with the other Moms. Yet I always noticed the moms with older kids were preoccupied and anxious. Now, that's me.

I'd like some time alone and I don't just mean during my commute - when I'm surrounded by hundreds of other commuters on the train, btw. I mean time to just stare at a wall and think of nothing until I'm inspired to do something fun. And free, of course.

Now, I'm going to play brickbreaker.